saboteurweb.com sysadmin
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"Sometimes you have to take stock of what you're doing, and why."
Mr. Andrew Sega made a newspost on his website in February last year that started with those words. I copied the post because I thought it was a brilliant, thought out explanation of his view on the music he's writing. Today I was listening to many of my old tracks, as I do quite often. It's an almost sacred thing for me, and I always get sentimental with it. Today I shared some of my thoughts with a friend on ICQ and realized that I might want to share them here as well since I don't do that so often anymore.
When it comes right down to it it's almost unbelievable how much music I have set in motion from my head. There are so many hundreds of my own modules on my hard drive that it's impossible to listen to them all in one go. There are a few good ideas scattered among them - the rest are probably most enjoyed by nobody but myself, but still... There's more to it than it being fun for me to listen to them. They have saved me from going insane. The opportunity for me to express what I have felt through my music has been a huge thing for me. I've loved every minute of it. There are both tears and laughter behind some of that music.
What kind of a person would I be if I had never downloaded and listened to the Mikrobitti Musakisa compo finalists on my 14,4k modem five years ago? I can't even begin to imagine. What would I have done with those thousands of hours that would have been erased? I am profoundly grateful to myself that I haven't ever thought about giving this up, not for a day. Someone who was around when I first discovered tracking asked me a while ago if I'm still at it. Well of course I am! Tracking, making music, is one of the very few things in life that I can really say I know how to do. Tracking is what I excel at, even though my talents may not always get me very far. Ever since J.Pukki (later to be known as Zealan) gave me my first few modules from which he taught me how to rip samples from in FT2, tracking has defined my life.
I've recorded 5 years of my life into sonic waves. I just think that's fucking brilliant. These years haven't just gone by and vanished. I have something to remember them by, and it's something I can pass on to others. And it'll never go away, like those years have. I hope making music in one form or another will continue to be of the paramount importance to me as it has been up to now. Even in the very early days of my tracking I was convinced that I would never stop making music, and for five years now that conviction has remained. Time will tell if it will remain in the future.
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"Unrequited love. It's fantastic, because it never has to change, it never has to grow up and it never has to die!"
- saboteur
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